Saturday, July 17, 2010

Suffering in Siena

by J J Cohen

Dear ITM readers who did not come to Siena for New Chaucer Society,

We want you to know that you made the right decision when you decided to stay at home. The city is insufferably warm, causing us to wear shorts, have a sexy legged medievalist contest, and consume unhealthy amounts of gelato (which is so good here that your eyes water just to behold its splendid frigidity). Other than tomatoes so fresh they are warm from the sun when served, and cheese so creamy it melts faster than gelato in your mouth, and the best of pasta, there is very little food here. We are starving. The city itself is no big deal: winding medieval streets that unspool endlessly and hide the most surprising treasures. There is some art and it is OK, as well as the occasional church. We are all in bad moods because it never rains and the sky is annoying monochrome, except at sunset. The vineyards and peach trees need to be replaced with apartment buildings -- what are they going for, a scenic Tuscan look? The main piazza is also so enticing that we have been staying out until evening becomes morning, sipping prosecco: we are therefore tired and grumpy.

And last but not least we are not enjoying each other's company. Be glad you did not come.

Yours sincerely,

Your friends in SIENA


Brantley said...

But you haven't spoken of the ineffably horrible intellectual aspects of what is no doubt the nadir of your lives' experiences. Since you have left that pain undescribed and thus unbounded, I can imagine endless depressing and enervating possibilities. I fear for your minds. I fear for your very souls.

Anonymous said...

Who won the sexy legged medievalist contest?

Dr. Virago said...

Anon - Definitely Jeffrey. I have the pictorial proof and may post it on my blog unless Jeffrey buys me my next gelato. >evil laugh<