by J J Cohen
Is it just me, or is the Slanket simply the newest way to become a monk without taking irksome vows of chastity, obedience, and poverty? From the jazzy Slanket ("the blanket with sleeves!") website, it seems the only thing Slanketeers are obligated to do in the robe is ingest food and libations before the altar of the living room's television. And never move from the sofa again.
Illustration: très fashionable teen ... or Franciscan wannabe? (Other attractive colors available. Apricot is clearly marketed for intellectuals, and thus has sold out -- the pre-Kalamazoo rush, perhaps. Limoges looks like a good alternative ... but what would Saint Benedict think?)
Out here in California, they market the alternative called the Snuggie: https://www.getsnuggie.com/flare/next
Trying to remember the name of that product, I came across a fun, snarky blog that keeps track of these weird products:
They have the aptly name castlerock -- which would be perfect for satisfying my inner Cistercian. Then I could walk around and pretend to know how to interpret the allegory of the world for everyone. Just like the Queste del Sante Graal.
Jeffrey, I'm so glad you noticed this, because everytime the commercial comes on I end up saying to my parents that we need to get them for the whole family, so we too can look like monks eating dinner. Fashionable monks eating dinner.
the colors are definitely better than Snuggies!
The OED, it says: slank, either 'skinny, lanky', or a variant of slawk; 'a kind of brook or river weed' ('the other kynde ... haue leaues lyke letties', TURNER 1548). Both of these are excellent associations for this product: slimy, wet, weedy, skinny, lanky. I'll buy that.
Matt Lauer wears a Snuggie:
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